


all by myself

by Timballisto



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Spoilers, Steven and Connie talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4345178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timballisto/pseuds/Timballisto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steven having a heart-to-heart with Connie about the events of Cry For Help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all by myself

Steven doesn’t understand why they can’t just make up.

Garnet was tense and withdrawn. Before, her words were carefully chosen and sincere, her humor warm and her presence comforting. Now he cringed when he saw her silhouetted in the door of the temple and winced at the slam of the front door. Pearl was… Pearl. Stiff and brittle. She didn’t flinch when Garnet walked by, but her gaze rarely left the floor. Silence fell heavy and often, too thick and awkward for Steven to try and breach by himself.

It made Steven feel sick to his stomach.

Even Amethyst, whom Steven could usually count on for back up, sat up in his room clicking through channels of static instead of helping him patch things up between Pearl and Garnet.

“I just don’t get it.” Steven said. He sat back, propping his back up against dryer. Beside him, Connie plucked discordantly on his ukulele and blew the hair caught by the light summer breeze out of her eyes. “They’ve never fought for this long.”

“They probably just need some more time.” Connie said, sticking her tongue out in concentration. “Is this the right way to hold my fingers?” She gave a experimental strum and cringed.

“Move your finger a little to the left- no, your other left- yeah, that’s good.” Steven leaned forward to nudge Connie’s hand, and then slumped back again. “I don’t want to give them more time. I want them to apologize to each other so we can go back to the way it was.” 

“I don’t think they can. I mean, we’ve fused before.” Connie gave a half-hearted little strum on the ukulele before giving it up as a lost cause. “And that was… it was pretty intense.” She gave him a look. “I would not be okay if I learned you tricked me into it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Steven said sadly. “I think that’s the worst part.”  
“Things’ll work out.” Connie said. “They always do.”

“I hope so. I just wish I knew why she wanted to be Sandonyx so bad.” He picked at a loose thread on his shirt. “Garnet’s been touchy about fusion stuff ever since the Homeworld gems split her into Ruby and Sapphire. I don’t think Homeworld is very nice to gems who wanna stay fused all the time.” Steven frowned, thinking back to the hateful words that had echoed throughout the ship during Jasper and Garnet’s fight. 

“I think I understand Pearl a little bit though.” Connie said. Her voice was quiet. “I mean- I like being Stevonnie. A lot. They- we-“ Connie’s tongue tripped over the pronouns, struggling with conceptualizing the feeling of being, but not. “They’re just so confident and happy and maybe Stevonnie isn’t strong in a gem way-“

“Definitely a gem way.” Steven broke in with a smile.

Connie smiled back. “Stevonnie feels safe, you know?”

“I never feel like I’m alone.” Steven said. He propped his chin on his fist. “Do you think…” His voice trembled.” Do y’think Pearl might just been… lonely?”

Lonely enough that lying to Garnet seemed like a good idea. After everything, after all that the Crystal Gems had been through- it wasn’t enough to fill the hole left by his mom. He wasn’t enough. 

Steven swallowed, hard. He could feel the burn of tears in the back of his throat, and that old insecurity he’d mentioned on his adventure with the older kids rose up again. What if the Crystal Gems resented him for taking Rose away from them?

He turned, his eyes large and sad. Connie immediately scooted over, drawing Steven into a hug. He turned his face into her shoulder, and Connie didn’t say a word when the fabric of her t-shirt started to get damp.

“I just want everything the way it was.” He said thickly, his voice muffled. Before the communication tower. Before Homeworld. Before… “I just want everyone to be happy.”


End file.
